Fun with fantasy basketball

My failures in fantasy football have been well documented. Remember now, I'm the guy that drafted Daunte Culpepper AND Edgerrin James, traded away Chad Johnson and kept Lee Evans on the bench when he rode the Texans secondary like a rodeo horse.

The result of those great moves (and many others) resulted in anal bleeding and ridicule that still follows me to this day. The funny thing is however, that I'm actually oozing greatness from by basketball leagues, besides the fact that I'm implementing Matt Millenesque strategies.

I'm currently tea-bagging Jay in our league, while holding steady in 3rd place of our Braves Journal League. If you're wondering how I manage to piss excellence like this on a daily level, I got some answers for you right here.

1. Forget to set line-ups.
This one has happened plenty of times. I'm usually too busy wrestling Chinese Panda bears that I forget to set my line-ups. Many a good effort by Gilbert Arenas have been wasted but hey, I'm somehow still seeding the soil quite good.

2. Ignore the fact that half of the roster is injured.
Yes, you think I dropped Richard Jefferson or Carlos Boozer or Michael Redd or Baron Davis when they were hurt? No, that's for wussies like Kenny Chesney.
Grant Hill's hurt again you say? Well that's funny, because he's my starting small forward tonight. I rule with an iron fist.....

3. Ignore stats and other silly trends that might actually be useful.
I have watched about 2 Nba games this season so I wouldn't know what Tim Duncan's numbers are or how Loul Deng is fairing when he has back-to-back games against Western Conference opponents. I just assume that Kobe and 'Melo will score a lot and that's good enough for me.

4. Reject any trades that are proposed.
Someone proposed a trade to me a while ago. I told him to fuck off and proceeded to "stomp the yard" in his living room. It was one of my finer moments in life...

So yeah, basically I don't know how exactly I'm winning but I am sure as hell enjoying this. When fantasy baseball begins I'll go back to my usual position, all the way at the bottom of the food chain.

Note : I didn't know what picture to add to this post so I just added a cat with a cool helmet. If you don't like it you can gently go screw yourself.