Worhtless baseball predictions

With the baseball season finally starting tomorrow, I decided to once again chip in with my pathetic predictions. Last season I picked an Atlanta Braves/Cleveland Indians World Series and both teams ended up shitting their pants uncontrollably.

So yes, time for me to come up empty yet again.

NL East
Braves
Mets (Wild Card)
Phillies
Marlins
Nationals

What kind of fan would I be if I wouldn't pick my own team to get back to the top?
The pitching was horrible last season but John Shuerholtz made some great moves to improve that and the trio of Soriano/Wickman/Gonzalez should be lights out. There's a solid line-up, a good bench and a bullpen that should smack you in the ovaries. My only concern is the starting pitching but I'd take our rotation over the Mets right now.

NL Central
Cards
Cubs
Brewers
Astros
Reds
Pirates

The defending champs don't have a strong pitching staff but I imagine that they'll somehow pull it out. The Cubs will be much better if everyone can stay healthy but I just don't see them taking the division. The Brewers will be fun to watch (gasp!) and I'll probably be picking them next year...

NL West
Padres
D-Backs
Dodgers
Giants
Rockies

I want to pick the D-Backs here but I think they're missing 1 more bat in their line-up. The Dodgers will be in trouble if Rafael Furcal misses a lot of time and still convinced that Juan Pierre is the worst player in baseball. The Rockies have some great young hitters but until they can find some people that throw that rock with consistency, they'll remain in the cellar.

Cy Young : John Smoltz. The bullpen screwed him royally last season but he'll be throwing pure filth again this year.

MVP : Albert Pujols. It will come down between him and Andruw Jones but A.J will get the shaft again just like 2 seasons ago.

Manager of the year : Bobby Cox. Still showing deez noobs how it's done.

AL East
Red Sox
Yankees
Blue Jays
Devil Rays
Orioles

Wang is hurt (that sounds wrong) and Carl Pavano has to finally step up so forgive me if I'm picking against the Yankees. The Blue Jays will be hovering around third place and for the first time ever I'll be curious to see how the Devil Rays will do.

Al Central
Indians
Tigers (Wild Card)
Twins
White Sox
Royals

This division is tough. I like the Indians and with an improved bullpen, they should be one of the best teams in the league. The Tigers have better pitching and also have an impressive line-up but I feel like picking Cleveland again so screw it.

Al West
A's
Angels
Rangers
Mariners

I'm picking the A's because I don't want to upset Billy Beane. Actually, I like their pitching (Haren, Harden, Street) and I like guys like Chavez, Crosby and Swisher. Angels will keep it close but I'm going with Oakland. Mariners should finish last just for the fact that they traded away Rafael Soriano for Horacio Ramirez.

Cy Young : Johan Santana. It'll be either him or Halladay. Toss a coin.

MVP : Travis Haffner. One of the AL's best sluggers gets his due.

Manager of the year : Eric Wedge. Meh...

World Series : Braves over Indians in 5.
Not only did I fail miserably last season with this prediction, but I'm going the exact same way again. Just to show you why my teachers used to spit on my forehead and challenge me to fistfights in class.