Having fun with made up stats

Sabermetric number crunchers out there are very familiar with the term VORP (Value over Replacement Player), but over at SI, they tweaked it a little and came up with the FORP (Fun over Replacement Player).

Alex Belth gave his list of players that have the most FORP, and the ones that suck the life out of you while watching them. So yeah, after reading it, I felt the need to add some guys to the mix.

First, the fine gentlemen that bring me utter joy when they play....

Willie Harris

There's some unwritten rule out there that guys called "Willie" should be fast. There's Willie Mays Hayes from Major League, there's "Fast" Willie Parker in Pittsburgh, and now our boy Willie Harris of the Atlanta Braves. You could send an amputated elephant called Willie to the kentucky Derby and he'd still win by 3 lengths.

But yeah, Harris isn't a household name and isn't is even a starter on most days, but when he plays he makes me giggle like the kid in that picture up there. He gets on base, he's exciting to watch on the bases and he somehow gets the job done when Bobby Cox gives him a chance.

Brad Ausmus












Ausmus' season line of .238/.329/.308 is as pleasant as scraping your genitals on concrete but this picture alone is good enough to have Brad on this list. Every time I see Ausmus, I have to think of that pic and that makes his FORP as high as David Wells' cholesterol.

Bob Wickman

Jayson Stark might call Wick one of the most overrated players in baseball, but ask any Braves fan how awesome Wick has been since coming over from Cleveland. He's big, he chews on some nasty chaw, he yells profanities and he is fun as hell to watch when he's closing a game.

Wick is a man's man. The type that walks around shirtless and eats burgers for breakfast. Oh yeah, and he even has his own "Random Bob Wickman facts".

Kevin Youkilis

When your nickname is "The Greek God of Walks", it's a winner in my book. Youkilis is hitting the snot out of the baseball and he has a jaw that can kill a man.

Chien-Ming Wang

Just because we get to use the word "Wang" any time that he's involved. Oh yeah, and who could forget this....


.....And now for the guys that suck the life out of me.

David Weathers

There's just something about this guy that makes me want to choke on my own vomit. Maybe it's because he used to play for the Mets, or because he's a horrible pitcher...or maybe it's because announcers feel the need to call him David "Stormy" Weathers every time. Hearing "Stormy Weathers" makes we want to rinse my eyes with napalm.

PraWoodOrr

This is a special type of hybrid player. It's the combination of Martin Prado, Chris Woodward and Pete Orr, 3 guys that bring tears to the eyes of Braves fans. When they get into the game, you might as well go outside and get some fresh air because it's game over at that point.

Mark Redman

Another man that has brought sheer agony to Atlanta, but at least he's been released already. Redman is one of my favorite whipping boys mainly because he pitches with less authority than a dead fish. Watching Mark Redman pitch actually shortens your life span.

Johnny Damon

I never was a fan of Damon, and now that he's a Yankee, I like him less than getting kicked in the groin by a mule. And add the fact that Damon has the arm of a passed out mouse just makes it even harder for me to watch.

Julian Tavarez










He's doing a nice job for the Red Sox this year and I guess that they're pretty happy with him, but anytime that a guy is a constant threat to burn my retina, it takes away from the fun factor. Tavarex has a face made for radio, and even then the radio would hang himself. I'll say it again, I'm really really happy that he made it as a pitcher.

Via the Fanhouse