The Orioles are still trying to press the reset button

So far this season we have seen Barry hit 756, A-Rod hit 500, Glavine win 300, Bobby Jenks retiring 41 in a row and Brandon Webb run an amazing scoreless inning streak. Last night Garret Anderson had 10 rbi's in one game but today something even more amazing happened. The Rangers put up 30 runs on the Orioles in one game.

Texas molested Baltimore to the tune of a 30-3 win, the ninth time in MLB history that a team scored 30 runs and the first time since 1987 1897. I mean, how much do you collectively have to suck as a group to give up 30 runs? Giving up 30 runs in 3 games is already bad enough...let alone in 1 game.

Here are some things that would've fared better on the mound than Baltimore's pitchers...

• A pack of bubble gum.

• Barry Bonds' elbow guard.

• A guitar playing miniature pony.

• A 1-legged pigeon.

• Joe Buck's receding hairline.

• A dead cockroach.

• Some soiled underwear.

• The mayor of Cincinnati.

• A blind ostrich.

• The Braves bullpen.

Shouldn't an umpire step in and call the game once the 22nd run or so crosses the plate? To let the carnage go on after that is just beyond brutal. And if I'm Miguel Tejada, I'm pulling out a .45 and emptying it in the Ranger dug-out after run # 25. There's comes a point where you have to stand up and defend your territory.

But the one I'm really feeling sorry for is Leo Mazzone. The man rocked back and forth so much tonight that he impregnated himself and gave birth before the game ended.