I don't blame him for shutting it down

By now you must've read the Ken Griffey story that made the rounds yesterday on The Fanhouse, AA and Larry Brown Sports, but the more I think about it, the more I feel the need to cry uncontrollably. I'll explain for those of you that are currently residing under a huge-ass rock....

The Griffster fielded a ball in center and then hurt himself when trying to make the throw back into the infield. What followed was a sensation that no man should go through.

"You guys know as much as I do," Griffey said.

Griffey said he didn't remember anything after the initial shock of pain. He said he knew he threw it, but not sure where.

"The best way I can describe it is it felt like somebody bungee jumped off my right nut," Griffey said.

Holy shit, fuck me in the earhole. That is just not right. If I'd make a list of things that I would NOT want to experience, I guess that having someone bungee jump off of my testicle would be right at the top.

Seriously, imagine that you're standing on a bridge with your package hanging out and there's a chord wrapped around your testicles. Now, imagine someone tying the other end of that cord around their legs and taking a plunge off of the bridge while the only thing holding them back is your fragile ballsack.

Yes, I'm actually holding back tears as I'm writing this. No wonder the poor guy is done for the season...