Another week, another pathetic showing

Mocking Peter King's fantasy advice has become a weekly thing around here. Take a mentally challenged Platypus, have him give you some fantasy advice and it would still be better than the recycled horse dung that Peter churns out.

So, let's have a look at this week and see if Peter can break his horrible cycle...

1. If the trading deadline in your league has not passed, I'd recommend dealing for Lee Evans, and either dealing for or claiming J.P. Losman off waivers.

J.P. Losman : 12-23, 156 yards, 0 touchdowns and 1 INT
Lee Evans : 4 catches, 65 yards, 0 touchdowns

Shaky start for Peter here. Meanwhile, the Platypus recommended Marc Bulger and Torry Holt and he's now swimming around in more poon than you can imagine.

2. Speaking of Calvin Johnson, he's obviously been a non-factor for those of you who picked him high, and you're certainly right to be disappointed. But back injuries are funny things. I think he'll still give you some production. This was the first week of practice in about seven weeks where he's felt fully ready to contribute, so if you have a third wideout slot and you want to take a chance, the Lions are at Arizona. This is a trap game for Detroit. I like Arizona, but this could be the week Johnson finally looks like the first pick in the draft.

I may be mistaken here, but Calvin was the second pick in the draft, not the first. Either way, he didn't look very good out there. 3 catches, 37 yards and 0 Td's.

The Platypus went with Brian Westbrook and is still pissing pure, 100 % excellence as we speak.

3. One other piece of pre-trade-deadline advice: deal Steve Smith. Five catches in his last two weeks. A non-factor. Short stuff. If Vinny Testaverde come back, Smith will catch more, but you never can tell how long that will last because Vinny turns 44 in two weeks. If you can get a good player for Smith, pull the trigger.

This actually makes a little sense. I was going to bench Smith on Sunday but at the last minute I started him anyways and he rewarded me with a mediocre 5 catch, 61 yard performance and 0 Td's. Decent call by Peterson.

4. Lance Moore, David Patten. Pick one. And pick one up. With Drew Brees' revival, and Devery Henderson's penchant for dropping one easy catch per week, Moore and Patten will be the trusted targets down the stretch, behind Marques Colston.

Ah. He's back to sucking donkey testicles.

Lance Moore : 1 catch. 12 yards. 0 touchdowns
David Patten : 3 catches. 37 yards. 0 touchdowns.

I'm glad I didn't pick any of those guys. The Platypus on the other hand told me to with Patrick Crayton and it paid off big time..

6. Don't give up on Jay Cutler for the year. He's got some good secondaries to throw against down the stretch, and you can be sure that Mike Shanahan, with the season basically down the drain, is going to make sure he gives Cutler 200 to 240 throws in the second half of the schedule. He'll put up some very good, if inconsistent, numbers.

Cutler went 17-29 with 192 yards to go along with 1 Td and 1 pick. Consistently mediocre if you ask me.

7. Of the Colts' top four receiving weapons -- Dallas Clark, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Anthony Gonzalez -- only Wayne practiced on Thursday. I'd anticipate that Harrison will play at San Diego as it's a grass field and he probably could have gone last week against the Patriots except that Tony Dungy wanted to preserve him for the rest of the year. Not saying I'd pick him up, but Chief-for-a-moment Craphonso Thorpe had a good week in practice.

CRAPhonse Thrope : 5 catches for 41 yards and 0 Td's. I'm pretty sure that Peter was the only person in the world who contemplated picking up CRAPhonso Thorpe. CRAPhonso Thorpe didn't even start himself on Sunday...

9. You know Dallas is going to score against the Giants. You might be surprised how it'll be done. I don't see a big day for Terrell Owens, but I do see big things for Jason Witten because Tony Romo will be chased. Half the time he's in trouble he slips the ball to his hot receiver (most often the running back) or to Witten. I see a nine-catch day for the occasionally helmetless tight end.

If by big things you mean 2 catches for 12 yards, then you are right on the money sir. Great call. And by "great" I mean that I want to light him on fire now.

10. Remember Kolby Smith? I preached about him earlier this season as a back Herman Edwards loved and said that Smith would eventually get a shot to play a decent role. Eventually might be now. Smith is the insurance policy in the event that Priest Holmes can't carry the mail for four quarters this week against Denver. And we all know he can't. Pick up Smith if you've got a roster spot empty.

This one is my favorite of them all. Kolby Smith went nuts on Sunday as he busted out 2 rushes for 2 yards. I'll repeat it again. Smith ran for a grand total of 2 yards. Way to finish the column with a bang Peter...

Tune in next week when Peter recommends Akili Smith, Ray Lucas, Charles Rogers, Pacman Jones and that fat kid from Two and a Half Men.